Tu or vous? A simple rule so you never offend anyone
Start with vous, wait to be invited, and the other unwritten rules of French politeness.
English has one “you”. French has two: tu and vous. Choosing the wrong one won’t start a diplomatic incident, but it can sound rude, or oddly cold. Here is the simple rule, then the details.
The simple rule
When in doubt, use vous. Switch to tu when the other person invites you to.
Using vous too long is, at worst, a bit formal. Using tu too soon can feel overly familiar. So vous is always the safer bet.
Who gets “vous”
- Any adult you don’t know: shop staff, waiters, people in the street
- Older people, especially the parents of your friends (at first)
- Your boss, clients, administration, doctors
- Several people at once, whoever they are: vous is also the plural “you”
Who gets “tu”
- Friends and family
- Children and animals
- People your age in relaxed settings: students, a party, a sports club
- Anyone who has said « On peut se tutoyer »
The magic sentence
The switch from vous to tu is a small social moment. Usually the older or more senior person suggests it:
On peut se tutoyer ? — Shall we use “tu”?
Tu peux me tutoyer, tu sais. — You can call me “tu”, you know.
The verbs are handy too: tutoyer (to use tu) and vouvoyer (to use vous).
Be consistent
Once you’ve chosen, everything in the sentence must follow. Mixing the two is the most common mistake.
| Tu | Vous |
|---|---|
| Salut ! Tu vas bien ? | Bonjour ! Vous allez bien ? |
| Tu es d’où ? | Vous êtes d’où ? |
| C’est ton sac ? | C’est votre sac ? |
| Je te remercie. | Je vous remercie. |
And at work?
It depends on the company. In a start-up, everyone will probably say tu from day one, boss included. In a bank or a law firm, vous can last for years. Listen to how colleagues talk to each other and follow their lead.
And if you’re really stuck, remember our favourite trick: « Ça va ? » has no “you” in it at all.